While “Children must be seen and not heard,” “Respect your elders,” and “It’s only because we love you,” might be familiar phrases to past generations growing up, parents. Discipline, respect, and obedience are the number one teaching principles. Though now, those kids have grown up, and some are choosing not to demonstrate the same authority over their children that was put on them. Creators like Tori Phantom (toriphantom) and Laura Love (lauralove5514) are one of many millennial parents changing their perspectives on parenting.
Often, these parents are more focused on building trusting relationships between parents and kids. They also work on a punishment that is equivalent to transgression. For example, if a child draws on the walls, the punishment isn’t something that isn’t related, such as taking away a video game. Instead, the parent works with the child about redirecting the negative emotions into an action that will not harm them or their surroundings and making sure the child can recognize why their actions were not examples of good behavior.
I think this is a way more effective way of disciplining than yelling or hitting a child because that implements feelings of fear and disconnect between the parent and the child. I’ve loved learning about the ways that these new parents are working with their children to ensure healthy and trusting relationships.
Laura Love has two toddlers and is documenting her progress by teaching them ways to redirect their negative behaviors. In a recent video, her youngest was using a dustpan to hit the wall, so she gave him a talk on how he could ask his mother for his baseball bat game when he feels like he wants to hit. I think this is a brilliant way to help children navigate big and confusing emotions, and it will help keep them safe.
Tori Phantom is one of my favorites because they often reference their experiences with their children to the advice that they’re giving. With their children, Phantom works on regulating emotions in their young children and building a happy and respectful relationship with their kids. I love hearing about how they all learn and grow while they navigate the struggles that growing up brings.
I think that it will be interesting to see these children that grow up under less traditional forms of parenting and get to see the different types of relationships that they make with their parents. Since I am someone who hopes to have kids in the future, I like hearing about the ways that I can help raise a child to be independent and know how to navigate and communicate their emotions. I love the community that this trend has brought about, and I can’t wait to see what develops in the future.